John-David

One of my earliest memories is of my mom chasing me across the room and falling. She was chasing me, so she says, because I was dragging my little brother around the room by his leg. Apparently I had a tendency to do that when my brother was in the floor. I personally believe that it is because I wanted to spend time with him rather than any malicious intent on my part. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

There was a Christian comedian that I used to enjoy in the early 2000s who had a routine that centered around discipline and the soft nature of today’s society. He used to joke about the idea that parents shouldn’t spank because it teaches kids to hit. He argued that you don’t have to teach kids to hit, just go to an elementary school or watch two brothers in the floor before the younger one can walk. We know how to hit, he argued you spank to teach a kid not to hit.

Regardless of how you fall on the spanking debate, and my purpose here is definitely not to start a discussion on that topic, kids definitely have an innate or natural ability to be mean to one another. I would call it original sin, others might have a different explanation, but I definitely do not think kids have to learn to be mean.

Good parenting here is going to teach them more than simply NOT to be mean, it going to teach them kindness. And yes, I do believe you have to teach kindness. But before we dive into teaching kindness, I think it is important to talk about learning kindness.

We definitely learn kindness from others. We can all think of people who taught us kindness through their actions. My mom & dad both taught me kindness. My mom taught me kindness through her servant-heart. My mom shows love and support to people by serving them and she did it my whole childhood. My dad taught me kindness through his patience. He was obviously not perfect, but for the most part, my dad is not one who is quick to anger.

I had youth leader growing up who taught me kindness through her investment. She invested so much in me and my classmates. For three years, she poured what felt like everything she could possibly have into me and my friends and our church. She was the first person to affirm my call to ministry. She sensed that call in me before I did.

But is that it? Are these amazing people where I learn kindness? The answer is no. I ultimately learn kindness from God. If you were to ask me to describe God, I would normally use words like: good, grace, & holy. Depending on where I am I might use more theological terms like: omniscient, omnipresent, omni-benevolent, or eternal. If I’m being honest, I’m not sure that prior to spending time looking at the Sunday school lesson for our students coming in a couple of weeks that I would have used the word kind, naturally. I wouldn’t have argued with you if you had, but I’m not sure that kindness is where my mind naturally goes when thinking of the nature and character of God.

Our students will be studying Ruth on Sunday, March 16th and one of the main themes is kindness. Ruth is such a unique book in the Bible and again, I’m not sure how naturally I would have come up with the word “kind” when reflecting on that book, but the kindness of Boaz is unmistakable when you begin to dive into the story. Boaz goes out of his way to sacrifice profit for the benefit of Ruth and Naomi with no particular promise of personal benefit at the time.

More over, when the time comes for a kinsman redeemer to step forward and fulfill his obligation to Naomi and Ruth, he does so again demonstrating profound kindness. This is also a picture of what Jesus was going to one day to for us, for the church. He stepped forward as our kinsman redeemer. We had no hope, we were completely destitute spiritually and Jesus steps in to redeem us and give us hope and salvation.

It is some important that we remember the kindness of God. It starts for believers with our salvation, but it certainly does not end with our salvation. It continues through our sanctification. Jesus doesn’t just save us, through him we are able to live this life drawing nearer to God and living life with a purpose that would otherwise be impossible.

As parents or leaders of kids and students we have to learn kindness day-by-day just like our kids. We have to teach our own heart kindness and ask God to work it inside of us. We also have to teach kindness to our kids.

The online world especially opens the doors for mean-spiritedness. But it seeps in everywhere. Students and kids are engaging with human nature on a daily basis. Whether it’s tv, online, or in person, negativity; bullying, and mean-spiritedness are a part of the sinful world. It is important to teach them kindness in the midst of unkind world.

I would encourage you to find moments to talk with your kids about kindness. Who are the helpless and downtrodden in your world and how can you and do you show them kindness? Then flip it and ask your students who the helpless and downtrodden are in their world and ask them how they can show kindness.

Talk to your student or kid about kindness in different situation with different people. What does kindness look like with teachers? What does it look like with siblings? What does it look like with the needy in our city? What kindness can we show today or tomorrow and how can that kindness point towards Christ.

I would encourage you to keep circling the conversation back to our perfect example of and reason for kindness, Jesus. Keep talking to your kids about the kindness we see God give us every day. The kindness that he gives you every day and then talk about what you believe you are called to do because of it.

As your kids get older and in appropriate ways and at appropriate times, I would also encourage you to talk with your students and kids about when this is hard for you and when you have failed or struggled with kindness. Share with them about what you hope to do better going forward and pray about it with your kids.

I have changed a lot in the last 5 years, my perspective has changed a great deal and I know part of that is just getting older, but I have definitely found myself more and more calling on students to be kind. To lay of jokes and comments that can a little more mean than maybe they even intended. But I truly believe our group is better and stronger when our students and parents are kind.

I hope that in your family you can find occasions to talk about kindness in the days to come.